Negative Peer Pressure - I Nephi 8:28

“And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them: and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost.”

Have you ever felt the “scoffing” of friends?  Well, I believe “scoffing” to Nephi is the same as “peer pressure” is to you, today.  I’m sure you’ve all felt peer pressure many times in your life.  The peer pressure you face today is relentless and it comes from every angle.  Who can turn on the TV, go to a movie, listen to music, read a magazine, surf the web or peruse YouTube without being influenced by “Peer Pressure?”  It screams:  “Look like this,” “Drink this and be cool,” “Eat this and look fabulous,” “Buy some of this and be funny.”  Sometimes resisting peer pressure is easy because the pressure isn’t that close to you … in other words, it may not be hard to resist drugs and alcohol if the only place you see it is in the media.  But it’s a lot harder to resist when those peer pressures come directly from friends and close acquaintances.  One of the greatest moments of “peer pressure” I ever experienced when I was younger happened just before I left on my mission. 

For the two years prior to my mission I worked at KSL-TV as a cameraman.  My responsibility there was to run camera for the TV shows produced at KSL such as the Newscasts each night and other programs like the BYU and Utah football/basketball Coaches shows, Days of ’47 Parade, Sporting Events such as BYU/Utah/Utah State Basketball games, Music and the Spoken Word, and (don’t laugh) Romper Room.  It was a great job for someone as young as I was and it gave me a great start to my career.  While I was at KSL I became best friends with a guy I met there.  We worked closely almost every day and both had a passion for our work.  We really tried to be the best cameramen in the business.  We both had dreams of having long careers in the media industry.  We were both single and going to school.  Because we shared so much in common and spent so much time together we became best friends.  We were like brothers.  One of the only differences between us was that my dear friend was not a member of our Church … and he had no desire to change that.  It was during our friendship that I decided I needed to serve a mission.  I didn’t try to force anything on him, but I knew he thought it was a mistake for me to take two years away from my career to serve a mission.  After my final day at KSL before I was to leave on my mission I stood outside the studios on the sidewalk in Salt Lake City.  I’ll always remember it being a very warm afternoon.   My friend and I walked out together and paused for a moment.  Then he looked me directly in the eye and said, “You’re making the biggest mistake of your life.”  He went on for several minutes to say that he couldn’t understand how I could throw away everything I had worked for to go on a mission.  He couldn’t believe I would leave my beautiful girlfriend (who is now my beautiful wife), my schooling and especially my job just to be a missionary for my Church. 

I felt terrible as he was saying all these things.  After all, how do you answer questions like that?  When he was finished telling me how foolish I was I could only respond by saying, “I know it’s the right thing to do regardless of all these things you’ve said and it’s something I believe I need to do.”  If I hadn’t have known in my heart through the spirit that I was to go on a mission, I don’t know if I could have responded that way.  He put forth some persuading reasons for not going, but I had a spiritual witness that I needed to serve. 

My friend wrote to me every week of my mission.  When I had been out about 3 months I received one of his weekly letters.  As I read it, I couldn’t believe what he was telling me.  He said that shortly after I left on my mission he started taking the missionary lessons.  The purpose of this letter was to tell me he had made the decision to be baptized and join the Church.  He went on to say that my example helped him want to learn more about the Church. 

What if I had given into the peer pressure I felt that day on the street outside of KSL?  I wouldn’t have gone on a mission, perhaps my friend wouldn’t have joined the church and I promise I would have missed out on some of the greatest blessings of my life.  I thought back on how I found the strength to respond to my friend the way I did those few months ago.  I believe it was because the Spirit had testified to me that I was doing was what the Lord wanted me to do and I couldn’t go against something I knew was right.  I believe it’s the same with any temptation you may face through peer pressure; whether it be drugs, alcohol, pornography, immorality or any other form of sin – you need to lean on your testimony to help you through it.  Is it any surprise then why you are encouraged to find your own testimonies as early in life as possible?

Peer pressure can be so subtle and persuasive.  I believe the greatest desire of every person on the earth is to feel successful, loved, and valued.  Peer Pressure is Satan’s great lie to make you think participating in sinful behavior will make you successful and help you feel the love and value of the world.  What a great lie!  But there’s a reason Satan is referred to as “The Father of Lies.”  It’s because he is brilliant at creating cunning, cruel, and convincing counterfeits.

I think it’s much like this example:  A few years ago a study was conducted on a brand of artificial sweeteners.  Like all artificial sweeteners, this product was designed to give food and drinks the sweet taste of sugar with zero calories.  (In other words, it was a counterfeit of sugar.)  This results of this study revealed some very interesting findings.  First of all it suggested that this artificial sweetener didn’t satisfy the bodies craving for sweets … in fact it did just the opposite … it increased the appetite for sweet and secondly, it never left the consumer with a feeling of satisfaction. 

I’ve often thought that this is just like the many counterfeits Satan thrusts upon us through peer pressure.  These temptations always increase the appetite for more of the soul killing activity but never, ever leave a person satisfied.  The victim is always left “wanting more and never being satisfied.”  Is there a worse feeling than that? 

If Satan’s scheme is to tempt you away from success, love and value then the Savior’s Plan of Happiness is to lead you to these things.  I believe the only way to find this type of happiness and fulfillment is through the Savior.

I want to share with you one man’s philosophy of finding value and success,  … but I believe at its roots are the Saviors teachings of love.

John Wooden coaches UCLA Basketball

John Wooden was perhaps the most successful college basketball coach of all time.  He was known as the “Wizard of Westwood” because he coached the U.C.L.A. Bruins located in the Westwood area of Los Angeles.  In the late 1960’s and early 1970’s when basketball was at the center of my own universe UCLA ruled the world of college basketball.  Coach Wooden’s UCLA teams won 10 NCAA championships over the his last 12 years of coaching including seven in a row from 1967-1973.  Also during that run UCLA won 88 straight games. (A record that may never be broken.)  Not only was John Wooden perhaps the greatest coach of all-time in any sport, but he was also a great teacher and gentleman.  As he was teaching his basketball players about success he felt the definition of success found in the dictionary wasn’t as descriptive as he thought it should be so he laid out his own definition for young people.

“Success is peace of mind which is
a direct result of self-satisfaction
in knowing you made the effort to
become the best that you are
capable of becoming.”

Take this definition of success and then think about any peer pressure you may feel.  Does the peer pressure bring you closer to becoming what you are capable of becoming or does it lead you away from it?  I believe that’s a pretty good measuring stick for finding success, love and value in the world.  I also believe that through the restored gospel we are blessed to have a perfect understanding of what we are “capable of becoming.”  We are capable of returning to live with our Heavenly Father as families because of the life, mission and atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

It’s my prayer that each of us will be able to avoid the pain and sorrow that come from yielding to negative peer pressure.  I know that as we lean on the Savior and our testimonies of his atonement we will be protected and guided to do what is right.  I promise as you continue to invite the spirit into your life you will be given strength to resist participating in activities that will bring regret and sadness.  I also promise as you let this spiritual strength guide your actions you’ll feel the inner peace and on-going satisfaction that comes from knowing you are loved, valued and successful in the eyes of the Lord.